These glorious insults are from an era before the English language was reduced to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Saturday, 22 August 2009
Friday, 21 August 2009
Yet Another Crazy 9/11 Conspiracy Theory
By James Forrest @ CQN
"Ladies and Gentlemen ..... Welcome to Nightlife USA. The subject of tonight's show: The 9/11 Conspiracy Theory which discredits the official version of events. Jane ... why don't you tell us about this."
"Thank you Tom, yes ..... tonight, a bizarre new theory on the 9/11 attacks has emerged, and it goes like this; the people behind 9/11 were a terrorist organisation named Al Queada. Their leader is a Saudi national, named Osama Bin Laden, who is living in primitive Afghanistan."
"Jane .... you're kidding, right? 9/11 was a perfect operation, conducted with a high degree of sophistication and skill, which must have cost tens of millions of dollars, would have taken months of planning and which, then, would have had to outfox the entire US intelligence community and the US military, in particular, and this is where the theory gets a little nuts, the entire US air defence system."
"Tom, you're absolutely right. Of course. But, the conspiracy theorists have thought this one through, or so it seems, and what they are claiming isn't so much good planning and a perfect operation, but a series of lucky breaks. In other words, this conspiracy theory depends upon the equivalent of throwing darts at a board wearing a blindfold and hitting the bullseye every time!"
"So, what are these nutcases claiming, Jane?"
"Well, Tom, first they're saying that the US government had intelligence to hand warning of these attacks, but nobody paid attention to them. They claim government officials refused to take these reports seriously, that the President himself ignored them as irrelevant, and that no-one in his senior staff tried to warn him this might not be a good idea ....."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No, Tom, and this theory gets better. They claim that on the day of the attacks, the whole of US air defence command was tied up in a series of exercises which left the whole of the Eastern seaboard completely UNDEFENDED!"
"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard! Even if that were true .... how did the terrorists know that?"
"Well ..... I asked that question myself today, and the answer, bizarre as it might seem, was that they just Got Lucky on that particular day."
"So what about the people who were recently convicted for their part in the securities fraud which blew the whole case wide open just a few weeks ago? Those people who were selling airline stock short prior to the attacks?"
"Well, according to the theory, those are innocent men and women, who just ....... Got Lucky too."
"And I suppose the fact those were the first buildings in history to collapse because of fire was ......"
"Just Bad Luck, Tom. As was the complete disintegration of an aircraft on crashing, United 93, which was also a first time event. Bad Luck, Tom. A series of freak events, all happening at the same time, on the same day."
"And these terrorists ..... tell me about them."
"Well, there's no much to tell, except that some of them were allegedly educated on American flight schools ....."
"So we even taught them how to fly, eah? Wouldn't the enlisting of these men, from Arab countries, in US flight schools, have raised a red flag somewhere?"
"Tom, according to the theory, that's just what it did. But, like every other piece of intelligence relating to these events beforehand, it was ignored ........"
"Just our bad luck, I guess, Jane ......."
"Just our bad luck, Tom."
"Thanks Jane. You couldn't make it up, could you ......?"
"Ladies and Gentlemen ..... Welcome to Nightlife USA. The subject of tonight's show: The 9/11 Conspiracy Theory which discredits the official version of events. Jane ... why don't you tell us about this."
"Thank you Tom, yes ..... tonight, a bizarre new theory on the 9/11 attacks has emerged, and it goes like this; the people behind 9/11 were a terrorist organisation named Al Queada. Their leader is a Saudi national, named Osama Bin Laden, who is living in primitive Afghanistan."
"Jane .... you're kidding, right? 9/11 was a perfect operation, conducted with a high degree of sophistication and skill, which must have cost tens of millions of dollars, would have taken months of planning and which, then, would have had to outfox the entire US intelligence community and the US military, in particular, and this is where the theory gets a little nuts, the entire US air defence system."
"Tom, you're absolutely right. Of course. But, the conspiracy theorists have thought this one through, or so it seems, and what they are claiming isn't so much good planning and a perfect operation, but a series of lucky breaks. In other words, this conspiracy theory depends upon the equivalent of throwing darts at a board wearing a blindfold and hitting the bullseye every time!"
"So, what are these nutcases claiming, Jane?"
"Well, Tom, first they're saying that the US government had intelligence to hand warning of these attacks, but nobody paid attention to them. They claim government officials refused to take these reports seriously, that the President himself ignored them as irrelevant, and that no-one in his senior staff tried to warn him this might not be a good idea ....."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No, Tom, and this theory gets better. They claim that on the day of the attacks, the whole of US air defence command was tied up in a series of exercises which left the whole of the Eastern seaboard completely UNDEFENDED!"
"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard! Even if that were true .... how did the terrorists know that?"
"Well ..... I asked that question myself today, and the answer, bizarre as it might seem, was that they just Got Lucky on that particular day."
"So what about the people who were recently convicted for their part in the securities fraud which blew the whole case wide open just a few weeks ago? Those people who were selling airline stock short prior to the attacks?"
"Well, according to the theory, those are innocent men and women, who just ....... Got Lucky too."
"And I suppose the fact those were the first buildings in history to collapse because of fire was ......"
"Just Bad Luck, Tom. As was the complete disintegration of an aircraft on crashing, United 93, which was also a first time event. Bad Luck, Tom. A series of freak events, all happening at the same time, on the same day."
"And these terrorists ..... tell me about them."
"Well, there's no much to tell, except that some of them were allegedly educated on American flight schools ....."
"So we even taught them how to fly, eah? Wouldn't the enlisting of these men, from Arab countries, in US flight schools, have raised a red flag somewhere?"
"Tom, according to the theory, that's just what it did. But, like every other piece of intelligence relating to these events beforehand, it was ignored ........"
"Just our bad luck, I guess, Jane ......."
"Just our bad luck, Tom."
"Thanks Jane. You couldn't make it up, could you ......?"
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Fox News - "NHS is a terrorist recruitment tool"
Obviously I know that Fox News is merely a propaganda mouthpiece for the far right elites in America but I was still surprised to see this footage on the NHS which can only be accurately described as blatant lies, propaganda and an attempt to scare working people into voting against something that is actually in their best interests.
Gems include "in a bureaucracy [the NHS being an inefficient bureaucracy in contrast to super lean multinational US corporations who make mega profits by denying people the very health care services they are supposed to provide] like the NHS no-one will notice someone spending all day reading Osama Bin Laden fatwas online"
My experience of the UK private sector is you are lucky to get the web applications you need to do your job past the firewalls never mind any illicit material.
Another gem "In the NHS system your doctor is like the post office", whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.
And another "Arabs are very good at producing physicians because they are poor entrepenuers"
In essence the message is - 50% of doctors in the UK are muslim because it is such a poorly paid inauspicious profression ("doctors are civil servants in the UK"). All muslims are terrorists, so to adopt a similar system would put US citizens in mortal danger.
Absolute unadulterated nonsense and downright lies.
With every passing day, those who run the USA appear to lurch further towards a fascist state. Replace the words "Muslim" and "Arab" as they are used in this footage to "Jew" and you could be in 1930s Germany.
Thankfully the overwhelming number of comments on the Youtube video are similarly appalled by this propaganda garbage but I found it alarming nonetheless that a so-called "news" organisation would even attempt to pass such lies off as informed comment.
Gems include "in a bureaucracy [the NHS being an inefficient bureaucracy in contrast to super lean multinational US corporations who make mega profits by denying people the very health care services they are supposed to provide] like the NHS no-one will notice someone spending all day reading Osama Bin Laden fatwas online"
My experience of the UK private sector is you are lucky to get the web applications you need to do your job past the firewalls never mind any illicit material.
Another gem "In the NHS system your doctor is like the post office", whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.
And another "Arabs are very good at producing physicians because they are poor entrepenuers"
In essence the message is - 50% of doctors in the UK are muslim because it is such a poorly paid inauspicious profression ("doctors are civil servants in the UK"). All muslims are terrorists, so to adopt a similar system would put US citizens in mortal danger.
Absolute unadulterated nonsense and downright lies.
With every passing day, those who run the USA appear to lurch further towards a fascist state. Replace the words "Muslim" and "Arab" as they are used in this footage to "Jew" and you could be in 1930s Germany.
Thankfully the overwhelming number of comments on the Youtube video are similarly appalled by this propaganda garbage but I found it alarming nonetheless that a so-called "news" organisation would even attempt to pass such lies off as informed comment.
Friday, 14 August 2009
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Invicta director in sectarian harassment investigation
"Invicta Public Affairs is a world-class public affairs consultancy providing political engagement services to the commercial, industrial and development sectors. We build powerful political and public support for our clients to ensure exceptional chances of success in overcoming barriers to enterprise caused by regulatory systems as well as local and national government policy.
The team at Invicta rely on their extensive experience and knowledge of the political landscape in Scotland and the rest of the UK to deliver for clients across multiple sectors in a dynamic and innovative way.Our aim is to win for our clients. "
Might it be worth highlighting their involvement with this sort of activity -
"Police are investigating allegations that a Scottish Labour candidate was subjected to sectarian abuse by text message.
Lothian and Borders police are studying text messages received by Thomas Docherty, who will contest Dunfermline and West Fife in the general election.
The messages, which contained a lyric from the so-called Famine song, were allegedly sent from a mobile telephone number belonging to Mark Cummings, a lobbyist. His clients have included Premier Property Group, a firm owned by David Murray, the Rangers chairman.
Two weeks ago, Docherty, a Catholic, received a message repeating a line from the Famine song which has been banned at Rangers’ Ibrox ground, and which was recently ruled by Scottish law lords to be racist. The song pillories people of Irish descent whose ancestors came to Britain to escape the potato famine which began in 1845.
The message to Docherty allegedly read: “The famine is over. Why don’t you go home? FTP.” FTP is commonly used as an abbreviation for the sectarian phrase F*** The Pope.
It is alleged that when Docherty texted the sender to check whether the message was intended for him, he received the reply: “Yes, because you are one of them.”
As a Labour candidate, Docherty is campaigning against a proposed major housing development in Dunfermline which Cummings’s firm, Edinburgh-based Invicta Public Affairs, is lobbying for.
In a statement, Cummings, director of Invicta, said: “I am aware of the matter as it has been brought to my attention. I am responding properly on a voluntary basis with the relevant authorities.
“This is a private matter that relates to me in a personal capacity only. It in no way relates to any commercial relationships that I have.”
A police spokesman said: “Police are investigating after a 34-year-old male received an offensive text message of sectarian nature.”
Docherty was unavailable for comment."
The team at Invicta rely on their extensive experience and knowledge of the political landscape in Scotland and the rest of the UK to deliver for clients across multiple sectors in a dynamic and innovative way.Our aim is to win for our clients. "
Might it be worth highlighting their involvement with this sort of activity -
"Police are investigating allegations that a Scottish Labour candidate was subjected to sectarian abuse by text message.
Lothian and Borders police are studying text messages received by Thomas Docherty, who will contest Dunfermline and West Fife in the general election.
The messages, which contained a lyric from the so-called Famine song, were allegedly sent from a mobile telephone number belonging to Mark Cummings, a lobbyist. His clients have included Premier Property Group, a firm owned by David Murray, the Rangers chairman.
Two weeks ago, Docherty, a Catholic, received a message repeating a line from the Famine song which has been banned at Rangers’ Ibrox ground, and which was recently ruled by Scottish law lords to be racist. The song pillories people of Irish descent whose ancestors came to Britain to escape the potato famine which began in 1845.
The message to Docherty allegedly read: “The famine is over. Why don’t you go home? FTP.” FTP is commonly used as an abbreviation for the sectarian phrase F*** The Pope.
It is alleged that when Docherty texted the sender to check whether the message was intended for him, he received the reply: “Yes, because you are one of them.”
As a Labour candidate, Docherty is campaigning against a proposed major housing development in Dunfermline which Cummings’s firm, Edinburgh-based Invicta Public Affairs, is lobbying for.
In a statement, Cummings, director of Invicta, said: “I am aware of the matter as it has been brought to my attention. I am responding properly on a voluntary basis with the relevant authorities.
“This is a private matter that relates to me in a personal capacity only. It in no way relates to any commercial relationships that I have.”
A police spokesman said: “Police are investigating after a 34-year-old male received an offensive text message of sectarian nature.”
Docherty was unavailable for comment."
Mike McCurry leads his congregation in a sing song
Not quite up to Donald Findlay standards but revealing nonetheless.
CQN sycophancy
A riposte to somoneone who had the temerity to criticise Paul67 on CQN:
"Expressing yourself gratuitously in this way to any poster in CQN would be childish and offensive. Doing it to the very person who gives you a free platform to post your differing views on a regular basis, thus reaching an audience of thousands of Celtic fans, far more than you could hope to reach without his help, is really beyond the pale."
There you have it - freedom of speech on matters relating to Celtic FC would not exist without the toil of the blessed St Paul and his disciples. Those who would abuse their privilege of this very freedom bestowed on them by offering views differing from St Paul shall be cast down from heaven for the heretics they are.
You have the freedom of speech to agree with St Paul.
"Expressing yourself gratuitously in this way to any poster in CQN would be childish and offensive. Doing it to the very person who gives you a free platform to post your differing views on a regular basis, thus reaching an audience of thousands of Celtic fans, far more than you could hope to reach without his help, is really beyond the pale."
There you have it - freedom of speech on matters relating to Celtic FC would not exist without the toil of the blessed St Paul and his disciples. Those who would abuse their privilege of this very freedom bestowed on them by offering views differing from St Paul shall be cast down from heaven for the heretics they are.
You have the freedom of speech to agree with St Paul.
Thursday, 6 August 2009
Saturday, 1 August 2009
Clip Log
When the fifth anniversary of the blog was approaching, Diggy asked if there was an alternative to Blogger to share stories and links.
I came across Amplify recently, which is an interesting way to capture stuff that you read or want to capture. Amplify works by downloading an add-on for your browser, and supports both Internet Explorer and Firefox. Once you have installed the add-on, it is very straight-forward to capture information and share this via a shared webpage.
I created a shared clip log for us. It's called May22. It might be worthwhile to give it a try, not to replace this blog but to run alongside it to see what we prefer. I've sent you an invitation to the shared page.
I came across Amplify recently, which is an interesting way to capture stuff that you read or want to capture. Amplify works by downloading an add-on for your browser, and supports both Internet Explorer and Firefox. Once you have installed the add-on, it is very straight-forward to capture information and share this via a shared webpage.
I created a shared clip log for us. It's called May22. It might be worthwhile to give it a try, not to replace this blog but to run alongside it to see what we prefer. I've sent you an invitation to the shared page.
Ocean Finance still going strong
Guess what?
These subprime vampires haven’t gone away. Despite bringing the world to the edge of catastrophe, they’re still out there pushing barrow-loads of money at ruinous interest rates to people who couldn’t manage a piggy-bank, never mind a household budget.
Can you believe it?
Today I just happened to notice an ad on Sky TV by Ocean Finance, with all the usual shit:
"Feel like you’re being crushed by a debt mountain? Well, why not sign up with us and get buried under an even bigger pile of fucking trouble? Consolidate all the stupid loans that you took out for holidays in Lanzarote, and fur coats, and stupid fucking fitted kitchens you didn’t need. Roll it all up and pay it off over the rest of your fucking life at twice the rate everyone else pays, you fucking fool."
Ocean Finance? These are the kind of fuckers who caused the whole problem by lending to people with no possibility whatever of paying back their debts, and here they are now, on the TV, still searching for idiots to put their necks in the noose. As far as I know, the last owners of Ocean Finance were AIG, for Christ’s sake.
You know AIG - the insurance company that had the biggest collapse in history.
Ocean Finance are incredibly helpful though.
Never mind if you can’t even write your fucking name, you fucking idiot. We’ll send one of our advisory associates to your home (which you won’t have for fucking long) to help you scrawl an X on the application form.
Look what it says on their website:
"Use an Ocean Finance UK homeowner loan to consolidate all your existing credit cards, store cards and unsecured loans leaving you with just one convenient, manageable monthly repayment and improve your cash flow. Alternatively use your Ocean Finance any purpose loan for items such as a new car, home improvement jobs or a holiday. Even if you have bad or adverse credit, county court judgments (ccj’s) or mortgage arrears you may still qualify for a home loan through Ocean Finance."
A new car? A new fucking car?? A holiday?
What??
This service is for people weighed down under a mountain of debt, and Ocean Fucking Finance want them to borrow even more for a car and a holiday! Jesus Christ!
In other words:
You’re completely broke, up to your bollocks in debt, with bailiffs and slavering dogs outside your door, but here, why not have another big heap of money so you can blow it on a pimped Honda and a week in Ibiza, you fucking cretin!
Listen, correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t these lenders the people who should have been strung up from every lamp-post?
So what the fuck are they doing advertising to start the whole fucking disaster again? Where’s the lynch-mob?
These subprime vampires haven’t gone away. Despite bringing the world to the edge of catastrophe, they’re still out there pushing barrow-loads of money at ruinous interest rates to people who couldn’t manage a piggy-bank, never mind a household budget.
Can you believe it?
Today I just happened to notice an ad on Sky TV by Ocean Finance, with all the usual shit:
"Feel like you’re being crushed by a debt mountain? Well, why not sign up with us and get buried under an even bigger pile of fucking trouble? Consolidate all the stupid loans that you took out for holidays in Lanzarote, and fur coats, and stupid fucking fitted kitchens you didn’t need. Roll it all up and pay it off over the rest of your fucking life at twice the rate everyone else pays, you fucking fool."
Ocean Finance? These are the kind of fuckers who caused the whole problem by lending to people with no possibility whatever of paying back their debts, and here they are now, on the TV, still searching for idiots to put their necks in the noose. As far as I know, the last owners of Ocean Finance were AIG, for Christ’s sake.
You know AIG - the insurance company that had the biggest collapse in history.
Ocean Finance are incredibly helpful though.
Never mind if you can’t even write your fucking name, you fucking idiot. We’ll send one of our advisory associates to your home (which you won’t have for fucking long) to help you scrawl an X on the application form.
Look what it says on their website:
"Use an Ocean Finance UK homeowner loan to consolidate all your existing credit cards, store cards and unsecured loans leaving you with just one convenient, manageable monthly repayment and improve your cash flow. Alternatively use your Ocean Finance any purpose loan for items such as a new car, home improvement jobs or a holiday. Even if you have bad or adverse credit, county court judgments (ccj’s) or mortgage arrears you may still qualify for a home loan through Ocean Finance."
A new car? A new fucking car?? A holiday?
What??
This service is for people weighed down under a mountain of debt, and Ocean Fucking Finance want them to borrow even more for a car and a holiday! Jesus Christ!
In other words:
You’re completely broke, up to your bollocks in debt, with bailiffs and slavering dogs outside your door, but here, why not have another big heap of money so you can blow it on a pimped Honda and a week in Ibiza, you fucking cretin!
Listen, correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t these lenders the people who should have been strung up from every lamp-post?
So what the fuck are they doing advertising to start the whole fucking disaster again? Where’s the lynch-mob?
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