Mystic Miranda takes a look into the crystal ball to predict the fate that may lie in store for Celtic and Rangers in tomorrow's Champions League draw....
CELTIC
Group C
Real Madrid
Marsielle
Celtic
Dinamo Kiev
Synopsis:
1st or 2nd place - would see Celtic qualify for the 2nd round of the Champions League for the 3rd season in a row and another tie against one of Europe's elite clubs.
3rd place - Celtic would drop into the UEFA Cup with a strong chance of reaching the latter stages of the competition and improving their co-efficient which in turn could result in a higher seeding in next season's Champions League
4th place - would mean elimination. Celtic have only finished 4th once in five CL appearances, in 2004/5 when drawn in a group including AC Milan and Barcelona.
RANGERS
Group TV
Rangers
The Bill
Eastenders
CSI Miami
Synopsis:
1st or 2nd place - would see Rangers fans continue to view some of the UK's top rated TV shows such as Coronation Street, the F (enian) Word and Embarrassing Illnesses (especially relevant to huns) till February at least.
3rd place - would see Rangers fans slipping into the lower realms of satellite freeview such as UK Living programmes about a 30stone guy getting his stomach stapled so he can swap his XXXXXL Rangers jersey for an XXXL one. This would also result in the inconvenience of huns now only being able to watch the first 10 minutes of the Fantasy Channel.
4th place - no programmes available to Rangers fans due to failure to pay TV licence to fund purchase of XXXXXL Rangers jersey, hire purchase rail ticket to Manchester and 72 cans of Tennent's Lager and/or 1983 Hitachi black and white telly being incompatible with roll-out of new digital TV signal.
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