Why bias to the Huns will never be acknowledged

Someone on CQN suggested the idea of creating a spreadsheet to record decisions such as penalties awarded for and against Celtic and Rearrangers, fouls, yellow cards etc. as cold, hard statistical evidence of bias against our club and in favour of The Establishment team. I think this would be an interesting exercise and could indeed come up with significant statistical evidence of bias but there are a few problems in terms of the weighting attached to the data that would be collected.

For example: Penalties. Rearrangers get a Davis-esque penalty against the Diet Huns which hands them a 2-1 win and 2 points, whilst Celtic get a penalty whilst 3-0 up to St.Mirren. There is a big difference between the two, however the stats would read penalties tally = Rearrangers 1 Celtic 1 = no bias at play.

Another problem is quantifying 'negative' statistics i.e. when Celtic or the Huns' latest opponents are denied stonewall penalties or McCurry fails to send off Cousin for a blatant head butt. These are subjective judgements although some are of the blatant variety.

e.g. our "escape" when a penalty wasn't given against us to Dundee Utd early this season was held up as proof that all these things even out, at least as far as Us and Them are concerned

i.e. FOUR NONSENSE FARCE decisions = ONE DEBATABLE decision - according to the Lapdog Loyal.

Another example was the fury and media scrutiny around Zander Diamond's "disallowed" goal against us last season. The Monday after this I was on the end of some rant from an Aberdeen fan who hadn't seen the game to the effect of "don't hit me with yer paranoia rubbish ever again that just proved you lot get everything going from refs". When I politely pointed out that, in the same game,George had a goal disallowed with no explanation and no media scrutiny, the response was a matter of fact "well there must've been absolutely nothing controversial about it then".

The bottom line, the truest lesson I have learned in life is, people will not believe what they don't want to believe no matter how much evidence you present to them. The beauty of the Hun propaganda machine in this country is that the very fact that someone would take the trouble to collate and present data of this type is in itself be enough to brand them paranoid.

"What?? You went away and recorded things on a spreadsheet. You are totally PARANOID!"

Time after time the absence of media scrutiny as far as decisions in favour of the huns allows a mythology to develop such as the laughable notion that the Huns were hard-done by last season in relation to fixture scheduling. In fact references to last season in the Scottish media repeatedly say that Rangers were not granted an extension to the season.

Truly Orwell's vision of a compliant media re-writing history has come to pass.

This really came to the fore with Kenny Misser's "stop your petty moaning Celtic we got nothing last year rant" immediately followed by Nosurname's outburst about the Irishey sounding official. No accusations of being an "extremist" or "paranoid" were levelled at Nosurname, or even any "for gods sake its 2009" type statements (a-la S Dougal on the Masonic episode) in the media. The obvious contradiction that Nosurname's naked attempts to intimidate the match official immediately followed one of his own players telling Celtic to shut up and not be so paranoid, is simply ignored by Murray's poodles. There simply is no contradiction, manipulation or Rearrangers paranoia as far as they are concerned.

The best you will do with a Motherwell/St Mirren/Dundee Utd etc fan when presenting this evidence or argument is a grudging "they're just incompetent not biased".

And no doubt you will be paranoid for going to the trouble of remembering all this and there will be screeds of examples of this kind of favouritism to Celtic that you have simply glossed over yourself.

"Celtic are never out the papers" they will say.

Yeah, tell us about it!

Where are Boruc, Naka and Aiden off to this week?

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