Friday 19 October 2007

Diana The Inquest

As we continue to spend millions on finding out the truth that matters, can we afford to laugh.

What was the cause of the accident?Fitting a Mercedes with parts from a second-hand 1961 Princess.

What would Diana be doing now if she were still alive?Trying to scrabble out of her coffin…that's why they put land mines round it.

Yesterday a ferryboat leaving Haiti capsized and drowned three hundred people. Fortunately a tragedy was avoided when it was discovered that none of them was a princess.

Diana, Queen of Hearts? More like off with her head.

Today we can all memorialise the sainted Mother Theresa and the beloved Princess Diana by eating curry and then sticking our fingers down our throats.

Who was Diana's favourite companion?A full-length mirror.

What is the difference between Diana and Honecker [the last ruler of the old communist East Germany). Honecker survived the wall.

Did the British secret service kill Diana?No, the French underground did.

What is the difference between those who don't like Diana jokes and a puppy?Eventually a puppy will stop whining.

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