Sunday, 29 November 2009

Fuhrer Unhappy with Celtic

This had me in stiches, not very PC but funny all the same.

Saturday, 28 November 2009

Celtic v St Mirren

I'm heading to this game with a feeling of dread. Even the alternative, Christmas shopping with Maureen, is looking quite attractive. Please, Celtic, do something to make me feel better.

I currently get more enjoyment watching and listening to Rangers struggle than watching Celtic.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

We're in this together

From now on, anyone who wants to make you worse off has a new catchphrase. If a mugger demands your wallet and you refuse to give it to him, he'll say "Haven't you heard? We're all in this together." And as he takes it he'll say: "See, we've all got to make a sacrifice."

It's a shame how it works, because this shared responsibility only seems to apply during a recession. While the banks were making billions, very few politicians were screaming "For God's sake you idiots, share all those bonuses out. Can't you see we're all in this together," which goes to show how complicated economics can be.

Luckily for the richest layer of society, we weren't in it together back then, so from 1997 to 2007 the wealthiest 1 per cent of the country could double its share of the wealth, while the poorest 10 per cent had their share cut in half. Then came the banking crash, after which that top layer took a humble and radical decision to carry on exactly the same.

So in the last year, the average pay of directors of FTSE companies has risen by 10 per cent, to reach £791,000. The first question to these people must be what couldn't they get with only £721,000 that they need the extra for?

If a director was told his salary was staying the same, would he shout: "WHAT? How am I going to pay for the kids' space programme? I've already had a red reminder bill from Nasa, I'll have to do some mini-cabbing in the evening or I'll be having the bailiffs round."

Others have softened the blow of recession in other ways. For example the chief of P&O was awarded, along with his pay rise, £80,000 worth of tickets for top sporting events. Imagine if a union leader called a press conference and said: "While the management have conceded tickets for semi-final day at Wimbledon, there has sadly been no progress on the issue of the Third Test at Trent Bridge, and so the strike is due to begin at midnight tonight."

Or there's Martin Sorrell, Group chief of WPP advertising, who in the last year laid off 7,200 staff and collected a £3m salary. But because we're all in it together maybe he gave them a little jingle as he laid them off, singing "You won't be let back in with a Sorrell sacking, now you're on – the dole."

No one even attempts to justify these raises any more, although they ought to be told to try, so we could see them muttering: "Well, it's imperative I earn more than last year, to compensate for all the suffering of knowing we're all in together. Yes, that's it."

Instead, George Osborne and Peter Mandelson tell us these amounts would make little difference to the overall debt of the country. So they make do with an occasional call on the banking industry to "show restraint". In which case both parties will presumably change their stance towards the slightly smaller amounts claimed illegally by people on benefits, and commission adverts that go "Benefit cheats – we're closing in. And when we do, you'll be asked to show restraint and responsibility in the amount that you fiddle in the future. Thank you."

The cry that we're suddenly together has happened countless times, in every recession. There was probably a Roman emperor who announced "Citizens of Rome. Unfortunately it appears I have used up all the gold of the empire in having a temple built for me and my wives. It's not my fault because no one was regulating me, as I had the last regulator crucified. So the most important thing is for all slaves to work themselves to a wretched death as quickly as possible, as we're all very much in this together. Cheers."

And maybe worst of all, if Labour do try to oppose the absurdity of a pair of multi-millionaires insisting we're all in it together, they'll look even more ridiculous than the Tories themselves. Because when Brown complains about scurrilous bankers he has to explain why he's spent the last 14 years addressing bankers' galas with speeches that go "My lords, ladies and gentlemen. What do you want – less tax? De-regulation? Women? You just say it, I'll sort it."

And Mandelson will struggle to present himself as an opponent of the wealthy, despite claiming "Labour is in my blood". Maybe he'll say next "You know, whenever I'm on a trillionaire's yacht I always drink Brown Ale, because I am at heart a working man."

So the only coherent line they could put would be to say "The Tories are vicious. Whereas we are vicious but incompetent. So you can rest assured that when we try to cut your income in half, you have every chance of getting away with it because we'll leave all the paperwork on the bus. Vote Labour."

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Dundee United 2 Celtic 1

I asked a question a few weeks ago and now is the time to ask it again. Has Tony Mowbray ever made a substitution that has improved the team?

Sunday, 8 November 2009

The Poppy Charade

By James Forrest on CQN:

I posted a couple of times on the poppies and said I thought everyone should keep silent, and observe that silence for their own reasons. Some chose not to do that. I want to be clear on this; I am not conflicted in any way about how I feel about it. I think what they did was decided their views and their feelings were more important than the club, than their fellow fans and they simply swapped one version of extremism for another. It was disrespectful to Celtic, to people everywhere and I don't think any of them should be proud of it. They acted like daft wee boys, and that's how they'll be viewed.

I see one online "writer" has already chosen to label them scum, and has been very careful in his headline to label ALL Celtic fans scum, although he claims to BE one of us.

What is pathetic about this joker, and what is pathetic about all the assorted trash who come after him, is that they COULD NOT WAIT to gloat, to puff out their chests and point their fat keyboard punching fingers. They could care LESS about the dead, about the memory of those who fought and died - they have narrow agendas and that is ALL they gave a toss about, and they are no different to the fools outside who "protested" and about whom they are going to rant and rave for days, maybe weeks, to come, and who will pull this out of the hat every chance they get.

Let me tell you right now that the poppy thing, the whole of it, everything it's been allowed to become, makes me want to throw up. Far from being a memorial to those who died, it has become an excuse for jingoism, for drum banging, for rallying round the Butchers Apron. And they call it "the best of British."

It's the WORST of British, but it sums this nation up very well.

The Germans commemorate World War II, as do the French, the Japanese and others. The French didn't emerge from WWII with any glory; they were invaded and liberated. The Germans kicked it off, along with their Italian and Japanese allies ....

Three "major powers" emerged from that conflict, and ALONE of EVERYONE IN IT, they never looked back, but jumped into one theatre of combat after another. The French, you have to DRAG into combat, the Italians can't be made fight anywhere. The Germans became the leaders of the European Union movement and are determined - as a point of NATIONAL POLICY - never to fight on any side in another war again unless attacked. Japan is the most pacifist nation on EARTH.

I make no apology for saying this, but in Britain the hoopla around all this more and more reminds me that in this country we LOVE war. We do. It's undisputed. At Ibrox, for the last couple of years, they've blared out the Damn Busters. In England, the whole country salivates at the prospect of "beating the Germans", and if it's not them it's the "hated" Argentines. It APPALLS me at times how much we REVEL in the glory, in triumphalism, in continued HATE.

Rememberence Days has become about remembering WHO WON. World War I was called "the War to End all Wars", and let me tell you, if there was EVER a cause worth dying for then that was it. World War II was about ending fascism, but the venom being poured on guys who sang songs today proves that isn't ended yet, whether you think they were stupid or scum as some have said.

The best way I know to honour the dead is to make sure it never happens again, and on the day in which grown men are wetting themselves with fury at other grown men who's egos are bigger than their brains and who's personal agenda takes precedence over all common sense, let alone decency, another young guy was killed in a country we shouldn't be in, fighting in a war we can't win whilst politicians talk crap about duty, honour and sacrifice. It makes me absolutely sick.

This country has learned nothing. Let the drums bang. Let the hate rise. To Hell with it. There are days when I feel that if the Guy Upstairs isn't sitting down with a good book that he must be wondering if maybe the time hasn't come to push a chunk of intergalactic rock in our direction. Rip it all up and start again. We just never get over ourselves.

To those on either side of the "debate". Stop kidding yourselves that this is about those who've died. This is now about greviances between those of us who're still living, and if one thing is true above all else it's this; far from being horrified by the experiences of those who fought, far from looking at the world and the times in which they lived and saying NEVER AGAIN ...... some people genuinely CAN'T WAIT for the next excuse to polish off the guns and get down to business.

Today's not about the "best of British", but the worst traits this nation has. Little Englander drum banging and triumphalism. That's what it's become. We're a nation of little George Patton's, who could not believe World War II was going to pass him by. "History will NOT ALLOW IT ....." he is reputed to have said. Certainly, it's taught this island nothing.

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Celtic 3 Kilmarnock 0

I turned up at Parkhead yesterday thinking I might witness history - the first Kilmarnock victory at Celtic Park in my lifetime. I shouldn't have worried. I wish we played Kilmarnock every week.

This was a good performance (the first one for ages) and the only downside was that we didn't score more. It would be churlish to pick out any player for criticism. Let's hope we move on from here.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Christopher Brookmyre

I went to see Christopher Brookmyre on Monday. I had read only one of his books. The first half of it was around children in a catholic primary moving on to secondary. I was reading it at work in my lunch hour and despite the embarrassment is caused me I couldn't stop myself bursting out laughing. The second half of the book wasn't as successful.

I thought he was very good and probably funnier than he is in his books. The books are full of swearing and he gives a warning on this before he starts. I think he must have went to school with Frankie Boyle.

Anyway here is an interesting fact about the BBC. He told how he had been asked to do a play for late night radio 3. He did this and was told that there were too many fucks in it. For the length of the play there should only have been 15. He had 40. He cut it down. Then when the play was being recorded one actor suggested that a particular line wasn't right and really needed beefed up. He suggested the addition of a fuck. Christopher then thought of removing one from another part of the play and adding to the required line. The producer was unable to sanction this without checking up as not only are the number of fucks counted but their frequency is also measured.

If they can make sure there aren't too many fucks how come they can't reduce the amount of shite.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Fair Summation of the Current State of Celtic?

From madmitch on CQN:

Just what part of failure do the board apologists on this blog not get?

We failed to win the league
We failed to qualify for the CL
We are failing in our various quests this season.

The failure of the current board and ownership structure to develop and grow the team are so blatantly obvious to everyone but themselves.

DD = Mind on other things
JR = Warm up act, currently masquerading as a waste of space.
PL = The world's worst negotiator.
ER = Bean counter's bean counter.
BTM = Wearing "L" plates at our expense.

The current low spend plan has broken our business model of 53K season tickets and full houses for Euro nights.

We are a shambles and have been a shambles for quite some time but poster after poster offers excuse after excuse to transfer the blame onto anyone apart from the shower running the club.

Just when will some people say enough is enough?

Nice Letter from Capital One re my credit card account [1st draft]

Dear mug.. sorry customer,

The significant downturn in the economy has continued. This situation has meant we've had to carry out regular reviews of our customer's accounts to see where we can rob them blind even more than we already do... sorry, meet their needs at this difficult time.

We have therefore taken the difficult (ha ha ha ha ha ha!.... ahem he he cough)...ahem... decision... to increase our interest rate to 39.94% pa to prevent our profits falling below £5000 zillion pounds... em... sorry due to difficult economic circumstances.

We realise due to the aforementioned economic downturn this will probably fuck you up, but you are poor and indebted up to your eyeballs due to our crippling and parasitic interest rates and therefore can't do anything about it. So we don't give a shit.

You should read the "Questions and answers" smoke and mirrors... sorry.. guidance leaflet enclosed, so that we can bullshit you some more about how this action is unavoidable blah blah.... huge bonuses to pay for...blah blah... yacht to hire for the director's bash... blah blah... we want bail outs not regulation... blah blah.... socialism for the rich a boot in the teeth for everyone else...blah blah.

Thank you for being a Capital One mug... sorry customer.

We look forward to bleeding you dry until you are a shrivelled shell of something that used to resemble a human being.

Richard Fairbank
Chief Executive Officer
Capital One Financial Corporation

Friday, 9 October 2009

14% "Internet Charge" - is this a record?

Celtic don't get it.

  • Celtic v Hearts in the League Cup
  • The match is on the telly
  • So let's charge fans a 14% "internet charge" for the tickets.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

It Can't Be Paranoia

New Celtic Paranoia blog which captures the footage that the Laptop Loyal don't want you to see and thought they'd managed to brush under the carpet

Now...what do you mean you never saw this on BBC or STV highlights??!!

Steve Conroy was getting along very nicely denying Celtic penalties before he
had the temerity to send a Rangers player off against Kilmarnock the
week after, thereby causing uproar in the Scottish meeja.

However, Hee Haw said in the media about this Lev Yashin style save by Dundee Utd centre half Darren Dods in the last minute of Celtic v Dundee Utd though (12/09/09). An agenda? Double standards? Selective reporting? You must be paranoid!

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Rangers 2 Celtic 1

I wasn't at Ibrox today but watched the match on the tele. My observations of Cetic this season so far:
  • Mowbray's substitutions always make the team worse
  • This is not because the players coming on (e.g. McCourt, Samaras) are worse than those coming off (e.g. ZZ, N'Guemo)
  • It is because the players who should come off (e.g. Brown, Maloney) remain on the park
  • Brown isn't good enough
  • Maloney isn't good enough and hides
  • Naylor wasn't good enough last season and is worse now
  • McDonald isn't good enough
  • We lose too many early goals
  • I can just imagine Mowbray drumming it into the players not to lose an early goal
  • This merely serves the purpose of re-inforcing the behaviour he wants to eliminate. It is like the Scottish Government saying we are all drinking too much or that we are getting obese. We drink more and eat more.
  • I think Mowbray's signings have been OK
  • I think Fox is OK
  • I like N'Guemo
  • ZZ looked good today
  • Who knows about Fortune

I can't believe we can't pull away from the dross over at Ibrox.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language was reduced to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Friday, 21 August 2009

Yet Another Crazy 9/11 Conspiracy Theory

By James Forrest @ CQN

"Ladies and Gentlemen ..... Welcome to Nightlife USA. The subject of tonight's show: The 9/11 Conspiracy Theory which discredits the official version of events. Jane ... why don't you tell us about this."

"Thank you Tom, yes ..... tonight, a bizarre new theory on the 9/11 attacks has emerged, and it goes like this; the people behind 9/11 were a terrorist organisation named Al Queada. Their leader is a Saudi national, named Osama Bin Laden, who is living in primitive Afghanistan."

"Jane .... you're kidding, right? 9/11 was a perfect operation, conducted with a high degree of sophistication and skill, which must have cost tens of millions of dollars, would have taken months of planning and which, then, would have had to outfox the entire US intelligence community and the US military, in particular, and this is where the theory gets a little nuts, the entire US air defence system."

"Tom, you're absolutely right. Of course. But, the conspiracy theorists have thought this one through, or so it seems, and what they are claiming isn't so much good planning and a perfect operation, but a series of lucky breaks. In other words, this conspiracy theory depends upon the equivalent of throwing darts at a board wearing a blindfold and hitting the bullseye every time!"

"So, what are these nutcases claiming, Jane?"

"Well, Tom, first they're saying that the US government had intelligence to hand warning of these attacks, but nobody paid attention to them. They claim government officials refused to take these reports seriously, that the President himself ignored them as irrelevant, and that no-one in his senior staff tried to warn him this might not be a good idea ....."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, Tom, and this theory gets better. They claim that on the day of the attacks, the whole of US air defence command was tied up in a series of exercises which left the whole of the Eastern seaboard completely UNDEFENDED!"

"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard! Even if that were true .... how did the terrorists know that?"

"Well ..... I asked that question myself today, and the answer, bizarre as it might seem, was that they just Got Lucky on that particular day."

"So what about the people who were recently convicted for their part in the securities fraud which blew the whole case wide open just a few weeks ago? Those people who were selling airline stock short prior to the attacks?"

"Well, according to the theory, those are innocent men and women, who just ....... Got Lucky too."

"And I suppose the fact those were the first buildings in history to collapse because of fire was ......"

"Just Bad Luck, Tom. As was the complete disintegration of an aircraft on crashing, United 93, which was also a first time event. Bad Luck, Tom. A series of freak events, all happening at the same time, on the same day."

"And these terrorists ..... tell me about them."

"Well, there's no much to tell, except that some of them were allegedly educated on American flight schools ....."

"So we even taught them how to fly, eah? Wouldn't the enlisting of these men, from Arab countries, in US flight schools, have raised a red flag somewhere?"

"Tom, according to the theory, that's just what it did. But, like every other piece of intelligence relating to these events beforehand, it was ignored ........"

"Just our bad luck, I guess, Jane ......."

"Just our bad luck, Tom."

"Thanks Jane. You couldn't make it up, could you ......?"

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Fox News - "NHS is a terrorist recruitment tool"

Obviously I know that Fox News is merely a propaganda mouthpiece for the far right elites in America but I was still surprised to see this footage on the NHS which can only be accurately described as blatant lies, propaganda and an attempt to scare working people into voting against something that is actually in their best interests.

Gems include "in a bureaucracy [the NHS being an inefficient bureaucracy in contrast to super lean multinational US corporations who make mega profits by denying people the very health care services they are supposed to provide] like the NHS no-one will notice someone spending all day reading Osama Bin Laden fatwas online"

My experience of the UK private sector is you are lucky to get the web applications you need to do your job past the firewalls never mind any illicit material.

Another gem "In the NHS system your doctor is like the post office", whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.

And another "Arabs are very good at producing physicians because they are poor entrepenuers"

In essence the message is - 50% of doctors in the UK are muslim because it is such a poorly paid inauspicious profression ("doctors are civil servants in the UK"). All muslims are terrorists, so to adopt a similar system would put US citizens in mortal danger.

Absolute unadulterated nonsense and downright lies.

With every passing day, those who run the USA appear to lurch further towards a fascist state. Replace the words "Muslim" and "Arab" as they are used in this footage to "Jew" and you could be in 1930s Germany.

Thankfully the overwhelming number of comments on the Youtube video are similarly appalled by this propaganda garbage but I found it alarming nonetheless that a so-called "news" organisation would even attempt to pass such lies off as informed comment.

Friday, 14 August 2009

Here we go again.

Ready for another season? Time for a new poll Bobby?

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Invicta director in sectarian harassment investigation

"Invicta Public Affairs is a world-class public affairs consultancy providing political engagement services to the commercial, industrial and development sectors. We build powerful political and public support for our clients to ensure exceptional chances of success in overcoming barriers to enterprise caused by regulatory systems as well as local and national government policy.

The team at Invicta rely on their extensive experience and knowledge of the political landscape in Scotland and the rest of the UK to deliver for clients across multiple sectors in a dynamic and innovative way.Our aim is to win for our clients. "

Might it be worth highlighting their involvement with this sort of activity -

"Police are investigating allegations that a Scottish Labour candidate was subjected to sectarian abuse by text message.

Lothian and Borders police are studying text messages received by Thomas Docherty, who will contest Dunfermline and West Fife in the general election.

The messages, which contained a lyric from the so-called Famine song, were allegedly sent from a mobile telephone number belonging to Mark Cummings, a lobbyist. His clients have included Premier Property Group, a firm owned by David Murray, the Rangers chairman.

Two weeks ago, Docherty, a Catholic, received a message repeating a line from the Famine song which has been banned at Rangers’ Ibrox ground, and which was recently ruled by Scottish law lords to be racist. The song pillories people of Irish descent whose ancestors came to Britain to escape the potato famine which began in 1845.

The message to Docherty allegedly read: “The famine is over. Why don’t you go home? FTP.” FTP is commonly used as an abbreviation for the sectarian phrase F*** The Pope.

It is alleged that when Docherty texted the sender to check whether the message was intended for him, he received the reply: “Yes, because you are one of them.”

As a Labour candidate, Docherty is campaigning against a proposed major housing development in Dunfermline which Cummings’s firm, Edinburgh-based Invicta Public Affairs, is lobbying for.

In a statement, Cummings, director of Invicta, said: “I am aware of the matter as it has been brought to my attention. I am responding properly on a voluntary basis with the relevant authorities.

“This is a private matter that relates to me in a personal capacity only. It in no way relates to any commercial relationships that I have.”

A police spokesman said: “Police are investigating after a 34-year-old male received an offensive text message of sectarian nature.”

Docherty was unavailable for comment."

Mike McCurry leads his congregation in a sing song

Not quite up to Donald Findlay standards but revealing nonetheless.

CQN sycophancy

A riposte to somoneone who had the temerity to criticise Paul67 on CQN:

"Expressing yourself gratuitously in this way to any poster in CQN would be childish and offensive. Doing it to the very person who gives you a free platform to post your differing views on a regular basis, thus reaching an audience of thousands of Celtic fans, far more than you could hope to reach without his help, is really beyond the pale."

There you have it - freedom of speech on matters relating to Celtic FC would not exist without the toil of the blessed St Paul and his disciples. Those who would abuse their privilege of this very freedom bestowed on them by offering views differing from St Paul shall be cast down from heaven for the heretics they are.

You have the freedom of speech to agree with St Paul.

Saturday, 1 August 2009

Clip Log

When the fifth anniversary of the blog was approaching, Diggy asked if there was an alternative to Blogger to share stories and links.

I came across Amplify recently, which is an interesting way to capture stuff that you read or want to capture. Amplify works by downloading an add-on for your browser, and supports both Internet Explorer and Firefox. Once you have installed the add-on, it is very straight-forward to capture information and share this via a shared webpage.

I created a shared clip log for us. It's called May22. It might be worthwhile to give it a try, not to replace this blog but to run alongside it to see what we prefer. I've sent you an invitation to the shared page.

Ocean Finance still going strong

Guess what?

These subprime vampires haven’t gone away. Despite bringing the world to the edge of catastrophe, they’re still out there pushing barrow-loads of money at ruinous interest rates to people who couldn’t manage a piggy-bank, never mind a household budget.

Can you believe it?

Today I just happened to notice an ad on Sky TV by Ocean Finance, with all the usual shit:

"Feel like you’re being crushed by a debt mountain? Well, why not sign up with us and get buried under an even bigger pile of fucking trouble? Consolidate all the stupid loans that you took out for holidays in Lanzarote, and fur coats, and stupid fucking fitted kitchens you didn’t need. Roll it all up and pay it off over the rest of your fucking life at twice the rate everyone else pays, you fucking fool."

Ocean Finance? These are the kind of fuckers who caused the whole problem by lending to people with no possibility whatever of paying back their debts, and here they are now, on the TV, still searching for idiots to put their necks in the noose. As far as I know, the last owners of Ocean Finance were AIG, for Christ’s sake.

You know AIG - the insurance company that had the biggest collapse in history.

Ocean Finance are incredibly helpful though.

Never mind if you can’t even write your fucking name, you fucking idiot. We’ll send one of our advisory associates to your home (which you won’t have for fucking long) to help you scrawl an X on the application form.
Look what it says on their website:

"Use an Ocean Finance UK homeowner loan to consolidate all your existing credit cards, store cards and unsecured loans leaving you with just one convenient, manageable monthly repayment and improve your cash flow. Alternatively use your Ocean Finance any purpose loan for items such as a new car, home improvement jobs or a holiday. Even if you have bad or adverse credit, county court judgments (ccj’s) or mortgage arrears you may still qualify for a home loan through Ocean Finance."

A new car? A new fucking car?? A holiday?


This service is for people weighed down under a mountain of debt, and Ocean Fucking Finance want them to borrow even more for a car and a holiday! Jesus Christ!

In other words:

You’re completely broke, up to your bollocks in debt, with bailiffs and slavering dogs outside your door, but here, why not have another big heap of money so you can blow it on a pimped Honda and a week in Ibiza, you fucking cretin!

Listen, correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t these lenders the people who should have been strung up from every lamp-post?

So what the fuck are they doing advertising to start the whole fucking disaster again? Where’s the lynch-mob?

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Lilly Allen Hun song

Did Lilly Allen really write this about Rangers?? Seems plausible

Monday, 27 July 2009

Coming season

I'm more optimistic about the new season now than I was at the end of last season, when we sort of just fizzled out. It's not that I think the old weaknesses (the main one being the lack of decent players) have been eliminated but there seems to be a good spirit about the time. We have a hard start to the season, beginning on Wednesday evening so here's hoping we begin well.

Wee Gordon brought success to the Club at the cost of our style of play. Maybe Mowbray can make it enjoyable to watch the Bhoys again.

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Lessons in Dignity no. 1689 - Orangeokie

The latest craze in Rangers pubs these days. 'Orangeokie'...

If the UK were a village of 100 people...

17 of the 100 villagers would be under the age of 15, while another 16 would be 65 or over (three of them 80 or over).

There would be 80 adults (aged 16 or over), of whom 40 would be married and 11 would live alone.

There would be 42 households in the village, of which 13 would be home to just one person. (Six of these would belong to lone pensioners, of whom five would be female.)


Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Tony Mowbray

Well, Tony wasn't anyone's first pick for new manager. But he's here now so, I guess, we have to make the most of it. I have a nagging suspicion that he fits in with the Board's vision for Celtic... conservative, careful, nice, agreeable, and, hopefully, successful in relative terms (win the SPL most of the time and don't get embarrassed in Europe). One thing for sure is that it is a huge move away from the vision that brought Martin O'Neil to the club.

Mowbray shouldn't find it too hard to make improvements. Nine wins in the last 18 games, failing to win three consecutive games since November 2008, and failing to score in three of the last four games of the season, is not a hard act to follow. So we should see improvements. He will also not have the same blind spots as wee Gordon and it's good to see Hesselink get shoved out the door at long last. Others should follow.

Our pre-season is the usual silly set of fixtures beginning with one game in Australia. Nice work Peter.

Saturday, 27 June 2009

May 22 Blog more popular in five countries other than the UK

According to the Visitor Locations ClustrMap

I wonder what it is about Germany. Is it the many references to Huns?

Current Country Totals
From 7 Oct 2008 to 24 Jan 2009

Germany (DE) 3,661
France (FR) 770
Sweden (SE) 657
Brazil (BR) 592
Poland (PL) 531
United Kingdom (GB) 481
Greece (GR) 382
Finland (FI) 369
Czech Republic (CZ) 345
Spain (ES) 334

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Obama's False Financial Reform

"The most disturbing thing about Barack Obama's call for financial reform was the way in which the president falsified our predicament. He tried to make it sound as though everyone was implicated in the financial breakdown and therefore no one was really to blame. The regulatory system was not overwhelmed by historic forces. It was systematically gutted and dismantled by the government in Washington at the behest of the banking interests." More.

Why aren't Reagan and Thatcher held accountable for the deregulation that ultimately caused the collapse?

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Friday, 19 June 2009

Judge rules Famine Song is racist

The BBC's headline makes interesting use of quotation marks. Perhaps they don't agree. The story is also buried as a minor Scottish interest story. According to the BBC a story about a faulty rollercoaster is of more significance.

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

George Carlin - Test Fart

Some of Carlin's lighter material.

Tony Mowbray interview on

This interview dates from over a year ago and was recorded as part of the Official Celtic FC History DVD.

Monday, 15 June 2009

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Gordon Smith outdoes Tony Adams in mental breakdown stakes

A few highlights from Gordon Smith's breakdown live on BBC Radio Scotland:

* The neds were not given life bans, its just that they will not be chosen again.
* Footballers don't play football for the whole of their lives so life bans don't exist
* They could be picked again in 15 or 20 years time (yes he really said that)
* Why did no-one use the terminology "career ban"? (yeah because retired players often turn out for Scotland. I hear Danny McGrain has been polishing his boots just in case)
* We've made it totally clear that both players will never play again but they could if circumstances change.

At various points Smith claims the ban was Burley's decision and at others contradicts himself by saying it was an SFA board decision.

I wouldn't want this guy as my defence counsel.

He then goes on to make an analogy with a life ban from a nightclub where the management of said nightclub decides that the life ban no longer applies.

The essence of his message appears to be "pay no attention to any statements I make as it could all change tomorrow"

The CEO of the SFA is nothing better than a complete and utter joke figure.

God even Craig Brown was criticising him.

At 4.25 & 8.27 Smith actually hits the nail on the head when he highlights the contrast between the press reaction to Burley/the SFA's actions and those of Walter Nosurname. Of course the most mindnumbingly obvious conclusion is avoided by these particular lapdogs (Tom English excepted) in a smoke and mirrors muddle of contradictory and baffling arguments.

The simple fact is the SFA CEO is being hung out to dry for failing to appease Rearrangers by punishing Scott Brown to "even things up".

There's a hackneyed phrase - "no journalist ever scored a goal or saved a penalty". True but their machinations do and have, had tangible effects on the game in this country. Overwhelmingly to the benefit of the establishment team. The situations regarding Bougherra (twice), Lafferty, McDonald and Loovens proves that unequivocally

Thursday, 4 June 2009

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Money and the Currency Scam

What is Money?

Many people spend their lives trying to make money, but my experience shows that almost no one really understands what money is. For lack of a few concepts, most people place themselves at a tremendous disadvantage to the few who do understand money and how it works.

It seems almost inconceivable that something of universal importance could be universally misunderstood, at all levels, from child to economics professor. But there is a very convenient reason for all the confusion surrounding something as simple as money: profit motive. We'll pinpoint who benefits from widespread misunderstanding, later.

Before we move forward, ask yourself the question, "What is money?" Have you ever been asked?

"The study of money, above all other fields in economics, is one in which complexity is used to disguise truth or to evade truth, not to reveal it." - John Kenneth Galbraith
What is money?

Most people are inclined to point to a distressed note, olive in color, tucked neatly inside their wallet. Everyone knows that these paper "Federal Reserve Notes" are money, right? Wrong. A paper note is "currency." Currency is about the only thing in the world that is not a form of money.

Money is any tradable asset.

An asset is "tradable" when it carries some tangible value, that is, when it is something that people value. A house is money, because people desire homes. A car is money. A paperclip is money. A service is money, if it is desired and can be traded for other things.

So what is the paper note in your wallet? Isn't it money, too? Well, a paper dollar bill does have some tangible value, I can write my grocery list on the back of it. For the most part, paper is worthless. A paper note is "currency." Currency is an accounting system for money. It is difficult to haul your vacation home to market for trade, so we carry currency instead. Currency in isolation, without backing assets, is worthless.

Assets are money. Currency is paper. Paper is worthless without money.

It follows then, that the total value of any accounting system for money, or all the currency in circulation, is always equal to the amount of money that backs it. There can be a billion dollars of currency in circulation, there can be a trillion, there can be a quadrillion, or there can be a single dollar. The number of paper dollars, or the number of zeros printed on those dollars, does not matter. The sum total of all circulating currency always accounts for the total amount of money in existence, and nothing more.

This concept is critical to understanding what happened in 2008, and what is about to happen in 2009, and beyond.

So we know:

MONEY = any tradable asset
CURRENCY = a paper accounting system for MONEY

And so:

CURRENCY/MONEY = the amount paper per asset = PRICES
The amount of things an asset commands in trade = VALUE

VALUE almost never changes. The VALUE of a house is four walls and roof over your head, so it always commands a similar house in trade, regardless of their PRICES. PRICE can be anything, it is meaningless with respect to asset VALUE. PRICE, while initially arbitrary, should be stable. However, as we will uncover shortly, the people who do understand money will have none of that.

The Currency Scam

(Before reading The Currency Scam, please read What is Money)

If you understand the difference between MONEY and CURRENCY, congratulations, you are one in a million according to Vladimir Lenin:

"There is no subtler, no surer means of overturning the existing basis of society than to debauch the currency. The process engages all the hidden forces of economic law on the side of destruction, and does it in a manner which not one man in a million is able to diagnose." - Vladimir Lenin, as quoted by John Maynard Keynes
Lenin was saying that almost no one realizes that CURRENCY is a major variable in their lives. Most people simply do not recognize that CURRENCY undergoes wild swings in buying power, carefully imposed by powerful interests to steal away their wealth--routinely, systematically, and ruthlessly. How does it work? How do the powerful systematically steal wealth from under your nose?

The Currency Scam

Perhaps since the dawn of civilizations, there have been Money Changers. Many will recognize the derogatory term "Money Changer" from the Bible. I'm not sure how far back you can carbon date the act of "Money Changing" as a recognized scam, but the first well documented instance, that I know of, was related to the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44BC.

Caesar's death enabled Money Changers to corrupt and debauch Rome's hard money for private profit--it was downhill from there. Jesus famously upended the tables of the Money Changers, relatively soon after:

He overturned the tables of the money changers. 'It is written,' he said to them, 'My house will be called a house of prayer but you are making it a den of thieves. - Matthew 21:12-13

We'll hear the term "Den of Thieves" again, as young America struggles to throw off her second generation of parasitic Money Changers in the 1830's.

What is a "Money Changer?"

Wikipedia defines Money Changing as "a trade involving exchanges of coins in different denomination. It is thought generally to be the origin of modern banking in Europe."

What a laugh. Somehow I don't think Jesus submitted himself to death by crucifixion to protest honest currency exchange. No, Money Changers do something that is distinctly criminal but often not technically against the law. That is because the law itself operates on the assumption of a stable currency. If it didn't, the Money Changers would create enough CURRENCY to change the law.

Money Changers exploit a largely unrecognized difference between CURRENCY and MONEY. They have done it in a variety of ways, but their method de jour is what we call "fractional reserve banking." We'll get into the precise mechanics of fractional reserve banking later, as it is critical to understanding why the the stock market is falling and will continue to drop. For now, let's stick to identifying The Currency Scam and how it steals away your MONEY.

As we know, the CURRENCY supply relative to the MONEY supply = PRICES. The MONEY supply is not easily manipulated. Contrary to the slippery words of our Federal Reserve Chairman, one cannot print money. It is an absurd notion that one can "print" a house, or a car. What can be printed (or burned), quite easily, is CURRENCY, as any petty counterfeiter will tell you.

The act of flooding the market with CURRENCY is known as INFLATION. The act of draining CURRENCY from the system is known as DEFLATION. As we identified earlier in What is Money, the total CURRENCY supply divided by the total MONEY supply yields our current PRICE levels.


INFLATION is the act introducing more paper currency into the system, causing prices to rise as new paper competes with old paper to buy existing assets.

DEFLATION is the act of draining paper currency from the system, causing prices to fall due to currency starvation (ala our current real estate and stock markets).

So "Money Changers" quite literally change the price of MONEY by willful manipulation of the CURRENCY supply. This handy little trick is not magic, to the contrary, it is a trivial feat in any system that allows fractional reserve banking.

Most people think of INFLATION as an accident, or some sort of natural phenomenon of macro economics. Oh, how wrong that is. We account for every penny in routine transactions, and errors offset. INFLATION must be introduced by an act of malice. It's measurable existence is the smoke produced by a simmering fire of hidden crime.

How does INFLATION impact you? Simple. By printing more CURRENCY, the Money Changers simply purchase your MONEY from you, causing all prices to rise. As prices rise, things become less affordable, which in turn ratchets down your standard of living. You've been scammed.

But as bad as intentional INFLATION sounds, in a country that is supposedly honest, forthright and free, it pales by comparison to the DEFLATIONARY scandal the Money Changers have in store for you. After they steal your wealth by INFLATION, they cut you off at the knees with DEFLATION. Once INFLATION causes prices to rise, people have no choice but to adjust to the new price levels. Unless you refuse to live in a house, you have to pay the price of a house. Same goes for cars, energy, food, everything. You are trapped if you must conduct trade in their currency (that is why they always want to consolidate currencies, like the Euro). INFLATION also means that the price of DEBT notes goes up. Instead of a $3,000 mortgage in 1932, we now have $300,000 mortgages. The existence of INFLATED DEBT notes presents the Money Changers with a uniquely profitable opportunity: DEFLATION.

The scam is almost complete. INFLATION has run its course, now it is time for DEFLATION. With society hooked on high priced DEBT, a sharp drop in prices is catastrophic for the borrower. Given DEFLATION, a $300,000 home falls to $150,000, drowning the borrower $150,000 underwater. His wages fall, or possibly disappear, causing the INFLATED PRICE of his DEBT note to become more and more of a burden. Additionally, lower prices across the board increase the VALUE of future interest payments. Eventually, borrowers break, and their homes, cars, savings (their MONEY) is seized by the Money Changers.

If the American people ever allow the banking system to control their money, first by inflation, then by deflation, their children will one day wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. - Thomas Jefferson
Who are the modern Money Changers?

The answer is another question: Who holds the keys to INFLATION and DEFLATION in our financial system?

The answer: The private Federal Reserve corporation

Can the Fed Print Currency to Counter Deflation?

Gorilla dust. When gorillas fight, they throw dust in the air to confuse each other."

- H. Ross Perot, 1986, while resigning from GM for "not building cars customers want."
As a frequent intelligence-gatherer, perusing the Main Stream Media for ideas on what not to do, I have yet to hear a correct explanation of how currency is created in a debt-based monetary system. Strange. It's kind of important right now, isn't it? Is it that "the experts" don't understand a thing about it, or that they don't want others to understand it? I think, the former.

As is always the case with money, the scams are simple and the fog is thick. So here is how the printing press works, or doesn't work, in America. There is no more important set of concepts to grasp given today's currency inferno as bank loans go bad. I know some will say the following is oversimplified, it is, or that I have my buying and selling all mixed up, that is the kind of confusion you can expect in an Orwellian demeritocracy.

Currency creation, step by step:

1) Corrupt or inept politicians ignore, do not understand, or have never read, Article I, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution.

2) Moneyed Vultures, to borrow a term from 1913, a collection of the world's richest bankers, collude with (#1) to create a "central bank." The concept is sold on the premise that there is such a thing as good debt and the government needs good debt to prosper. That is a ridiculous notion, all debt is bad debt, but we'll leave that for another day. The ability to take on debt, to run deficits, and the reassurance that it is really a good thing or that "deficits don't matter" is very appealing to politicians, because they can spend without raising taxes. The attractiveness of debt over tax collection is the central bank's primary political hook.

3) The government partners with this strictly for-profit, cartel of private banks to issue its national currency. A legalized currency monopoly is born. The bank gets an exclusive deal to loan cash to a faceless government, and the government gets to spend that cash sans the political burden of taxation. The U.S. central bank is called the "Federal Reserve." Much like "Federal Express" they hope to imply some vague governmental association to gain stature and trust. Not only is this cartel of 12 private banks, headed by the Bank of NY, not part our government, as a "creditor" to our government, the Fed is distinctly above our law. In fact, congress is not allowed to audit their books, nor do we have any say or legal recourse with regard to their actions. They are the USA's exclusive creditor; the creditor owns the debtor.

Normally, we associate a "creditor" with someone with money available to lend. However, this kind of "credit" is derived purely from the cartel's currency monopoly. They don't lend or need actual money, they lend their exclusive, legalized privilege to print more currency.

4) The central bank, which I will now refer to as "the Federal Reserve" or the "Fed" despite the fact that they are not federal, and they keep no reserves, agrees to "buy" all the bonds the government does not sell. During this exchange, trading new paper currency (paper) for a real live Treasury bond (money), the Fed is not really buying anything, they are selling freshly printed cash, at interest. The government is actually buying spending cash, using real money, or our bond, which is a binding promise that our children will toil on the central bank's behalf.

The Fed rents a color printer at the U.S. Treasury to print their private-issue interest bearing Federal Reserve Notes (FRNs), aptly called bills. That's a joke, they don't actually rent the color printer, they charge the Bureau of Engraving and Printing a hefty fee for every dollar they print. Using the U.S. Treasury as a printing service is a careful part of the illusion that our government prints her own currency, it also secures the full resources of the United States to prevent secondary counterfeiting. If the Fed properly reimbursed the government to print FRNs, more people might notice the constitutional violation. Instead, the U.S. Treasury pays the Fed a healthy service charge for printing each note, which is nothing but profitable gorilla dust.

5) Politicians quickly spend the hot new cash to "stimulate" votes--I mean--help the economy. Like all counterfeit money, fresh new currency yields full face value at the point of introduction. As it cools, it dilutes the existing currency pool and we all pay for it via the inflation tax.

Presto! Currency has been printed and promised to be paid for, later, by someone else.

Now, if that was where the orgy of crime ended, then one could argue that the government, by contracting Fed private banks can actually print new currency to counter deflation. Unfortunately, the orgy is only getting started, central bankers aren't even naked yet.

So we've followed the new currency to the point of the crime--deficit spending--now, let's follow the money. All profitable schemes scream for leverage, and when you are in the counterfeiting business, leverage means cutting dealers in for a piece of the action.

6) The bond, our money, is wholesaled to the Fed's primary dealers. The bond ultimately becomes new commercial bank reserves, against which banks offer more loans. And more loans. And more, and more, and more loans. Much more than they have money to lend. They extend as many loans as they can find genuinely profitable borrowers. A profitable borrower is someone they trust will pay them back with interest. The act of lending out more money than they possess is called "fractional reserve banking" because they have promised more than they have in reserve.

Banks used to lend out about 10 times more than they held in reserve. But lately, the government has been actively buying the riskiest loans back from the bank, via fronts like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Now, new loans do not need to pass a profit sanity test. Excessive risk is transferred at a premium, that's right, to the same government who created the underlying bonds. The net result is bank lending up to 40 times reserves.

Banks also take in new reserves from people in the form of customer deposits. They pay a small amount of interest, then lend out 10 to 40 times that deposit at a higher rate. A bank might pay you 3% for the use of your money, then loan it at 6% to 10 to 40 borrowers. Net profit: about 200%/year on money they don't have.

So where does all this extra cash come from? Don't ask. The 97% of loaned money that banks do not possess is simply printed, on the spot. When you take out a bank loan to buy a home, the bank requires you open an account with them. That is because they don't have the money to give to you. The account allows them to make an un-backed accounting entry to affect your balance, at interest, and nobody is the wiser. Well, bank regulators know they are doing it, they allow fractional reserve banking. No, they encourage it; a fringe benefit of colluding with government.

Lending money you do not have is called "fractional reserve banking" by elitists and intellectuals. It's called "counterfeiting" by more sensible criminals.

7) Much more currency has now been successfully created and laundered. That is, placed in someone else's name: yours. You spend the fresh new cash into the economy, and then return the money to the bank, plus interest.

The grand counterfeiting scheme is complete. Maximum leverage has been achieved. The riskiest loans have been sold back to the government, and if it all goes to Hades in a hand basket, the FDIC steps in and pays the account balances.

So let's revisit the headline question:

Can the Fed print currency to counter deflation?

The answer:

No, not without an increasing number of genuinely profitable borrowers, or a new government agency hellbent on creating another subprime catastrophe. New Fed reserves and government spending simply cannot counter somewhere around $500T and $750T in existing bank leverage going bad

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Hail Rangers... and sharing music

By the logic of many Celtic supporters, Rangers are a great team -- since they won the league and cup double today. In four seasons, with 12 trophies available, Celtic won six under Gordon Strachan, of which three were league titles. Not bad. Not great.

Spotify has already been mentioned but is another music sharing service. Instead of streaming music, like Spotify, you upload and download tracks. I've set-up a shared drop for this blog, including some old classics and song new ones:
Discover Simple, Private Sharing at

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Next Manager Poll

How about a free text choice where other names can be suggested?

I have a feeling we will go for a cheap option that has enough "Celtic" in them to shut up the vocal minority. I hope we go for someone who has been relatively successful in Europe within a limited budget.

I also want some others to follow Strachan out of the door (McGeady & Boruc will do to start with).

Saturday, 23 May 2009

George Carlin - People's Rights

George Carlin - Religion

George Carlin - the Ruling Class

Posted this as it follows on from the War clip and has a good bit about the Ruling class. The rest of the clip isn't his best ever material.

George Carlin - we like war

From youtube, unfortunately there is a minute of HBO intro credits to skip past. This dates from 1992 but if you didn't know it could easily be 2003. Very Orwellian.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Why bias to the Huns will never be acknowledged

Someone on CQN suggested the idea of creating a spreadsheet to record decisions such as penalties awarded for and against Celtic and Rearrangers, fouls, yellow cards etc. as cold, hard statistical evidence of bias against our club and in favour of The Establishment team. I think this would be an interesting exercise and could indeed come up with significant statistical evidence of bias but there are a few problems in terms of the weighting attached to the data that would be collected.

For example: Penalties. Rearrangers get a Davis-esque penalty against the Diet Huns which hands them a 2-1 win and 2 points, whilst Celtic get a penalty whilst 3-0 up to St.Mirren. There is a big difference between the two, however the stats would read penalties tally = Rearrangers 1 Celtic 1 = no bias at play.

Another problem is quantifying 'negative' statistics i.e. when Celtic or the Huns' latest opponents are denied stonewall penalties or McCurry fails to send off Cousin for a blatant head butt. These are subjective judgements although some are of the blatant variety.

e.g. our "escape" when a penalty wasn't given against us to Dundee Utd early this season was held up as proof that all these things even out, at least as far as Us and Them are concerned

i.e. FOUR NONSENSE FARCE decisions = ONE DEBATABLE decision - according to the Lapdog Loyal.

Another example was the fury and media scrutiny around Zander Diamond's "disallowed" goal against us last season. The Monday after this I was on the end of some rant from an Aberdeen fan who hadn't seen the game to the effect of "don't hit me with yer paranoia rubbish ever again that just proved you lot get everything going from refs". When I politely pointed out that, in the same game,George had a goal disallowed with no explanation and no media scrutiny, the response was a matter of fact "well there must've been absolutely nothing controversial about it then".

The bottom line, the truest lesson I have learned in life is, people will not believe what they don't want to believe no matter how much evidence you present to them. The beauty of the Hun propaganda machine in this country is that the very fact that someone would take the trouble to collate and present data of this type is in itself be enough to brand them paranoid.

"What?? You went away and recorded things on a spreadsheet. You are totally PARANOID!"

Time after time the absence of media scrutiny as far as decisions in favour of the huns allows a mythology to develop such as the laughable notion that the Huns were hard-done by last season in relation to fixture scheduling. In fact references to last season in the Scottish media repeatedly say that Rangers were not granted an extension to the season.

Truly Orwell's vision of a compliant media re-writing history has come to pass.

This really came to the fore with Kenny Misser's "stop your petty moaning Celtic we got nothing last year rant" immediately followed by Nosurname's outburst about the Irishey sounding official. No accusations of being an "extremist" or "paranoid" were levelled at Nosurname, or even any "for gods sake its 2009" type statements (a-la S Dougal on the Masonic episode) in the media. The obvious contradiction that Nosurname's naked attempts to intimidate the match official immediately followed one of his own players telling Celtic to shut up and not be so paranoid, is simply ignored by Murray's poodles. There simply is no contradiction, manipulation or Rearrangers paranoia as far as they are concerned.

The best you will do with a Motherwell/St Mirren/Dundee Utd etc fan when presenting this evidence or argument is a grudging "they're just incompetent not biased".

And no doubt you will be paranoid for going to the trouble of remembering all this and there will be screeds of examples of this kind of favouritism to Celtic that you have simply glossed over yourself.

"Celtic are never out the papers" they will say.

Yeah, tell us about it!

Where are Boruc, Naka and Aiden off to this week?


Tuesday, 19 May 2009

How the impartial SFA deal with appeals on red cards in 2009

From SFA website:

Reference to FIFA's rules on serious foul play seem particularly relevant in light of recent events.

St Mirren Sending Off Appeal Dismissed
Tuesday, 12 August 2008

St Mirren's appeal against the sending off of their player Will Haining in this weekend's match against Celtic has been dismissed. In accordance with the appeals process, the match referee Eddie Smith reviewed the incident and is content with his original decision to award a penalty and send the player off. Consequently the player will be subject to a one match ban.

Aberdeen Claim Dismissed
Thursday, 09 October 2008

Aberdeen FC’s Claim of Wrongful Dismissal in respect of the sending off of its player Charles Mulgrew in the match against Hibernian FC on 4th October has been dismissed, following a review by referee Michael McCurry. The player had been sent off for denying the opposing team or an opponent a goal or obvious goal scoring opportunity as defined by Law 12.

Heart of Midlothian's Claim Dismissed
Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Heart of Midlothian's claim of wrongful dismissal in respect of the sending off of their player Marius Zaliukas in the match against Aberdeen has been dismissed, following a review by referee Iain Brines. Zaliukas is therefore suspended for Heart of Midlothian's next match against Hibernian on 3 January.

Falkirk Appeal Dismissed
Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Falkirk FC’s Claim of Wrongful Dismissal in respect of the sending off of its player Patrick Cregg in the match against Rangers FC on 17th January has been dismissed, following a review by referee William Collum.

In explanation of the referee's decision, the following definition of serious foul play as detailed in the FIFA Laws of the Game is provided:

"Any player who lunges at an opponent in challenging for the ball from the front, from the side or from behind using one or both legs, with excessive force and endangering the safety of an opponent is guilty of serious foul play."

Hibernian FC's Claim Dismissed
Wednesday, 06 May 2009

Hibernian FC’s Claim of Wrongful Dismissal in respect of the sending off of its player Chris Hogg in the match against Dundee United FC on 2nd May has been dismissed, following a review by referee Stevie O'Reilly.

In explanation of the referee's decision, the following definition of serious foul play as detailed in the FIFA Laws of the Game is provided:

"Any player who lunges at an opponent in challenging for the ball from the front, from the side or from behind using one or both legs, with excessive force and endangering the safety of an opponent is guilty of serious foul play."

Accies fail with McArthur Appeal
12 May 2009

Hamilton Accies have failed in their appeal against the red card shown to James McArthur during Sunday's 1-1 league draw with Inverness. The midfielder was sent off by referee Charlie Richmond following a 66th-minute challenge on Filipe Morais.
And Richmond said he was happy with his decision after reviewing footage of the the incident.

McArthur will now sit out Wednesday's Scottish Premier League clash against Falkirk at New Douglas Park. Hamilton manager Billy Reid claimed the dismissal was "really, really harsh".

Pressley loses appeal
17 May 2009

Falkirk have lost their appeal against the red card shown to Steven Pressley during the weekend defeat by St Mirren.It means that the veteran defender will be suspended for Saturday's final game of the season away to Inverness Caledonian Thistle. Referee Chris Boyle reviewed the decision but decided that he was content with the sending off.

Falkirk had insisted that Pressley had clashed heads with Billy Mehmet and had not used an elbow. But, with their claim of wrongful dismissal being rejected, it means that Pressley will miss a game Falkirk must win to avoid relegation from the Scottish Premier League.

Rangers FC Appeal Referred to Review Panel
Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Rangers FC's Claim of Wrongful Dismissal in respect of the sending off of its player Sasa Papac in the match against Falkirk FC on 17th January is being referred to the Review Panel for consideration, following a review by referee William Collum.
Having reviewed the circumstances of the player's sending off, the referee accepted that an error had been made and that the player had not been guilty of serious foul play.

The suspensions incurred by the player as a result of the sending off have therefore been revoked and the player is free to play in the club's next match against Aberdeen FC this Saturday. It was decided that the claim be upheld to the extent that the offence be reduced to a caution.

SFA Reviews Ibrox Red Cards
18 May 2009

Rangers' Madjid Bougherra and Aberdeen's Charlie Mulgrew have won the first stage of their appeals against red cards they received on Saturday. Stuart Dougal viewed footage of the match, which Rangers won 2-1 at Ibrox.

And he decided that Bougherra did not deserve to be sent off for violent conduct against keeper Jamie Langfield. It will now be up to the review panel, which will meet on Friday morning, to decide what action, if any, should be taken against the players.

But both Bougherra and Mulgrew appear likely to be cleared to play in Sunday's climax to the Scottish Premier League season.

A curious question
This evening (Tuesday 19 May 2009) it was reported (very briefly funnily enough) on BBC Scotland News that Bougherra will be available for selection on Sunday. Begs the question (if you're not a Murray media lackey lapdog) - if a decision is not being made on the matter until Friday, why is it already common knowledge that Bougherra's red card will be rescinded?

Nudge nudge, knuckle grab, wink, apron, trouser leg etc. = Scottish Football in 2009

Stuart Dougal will enjoy like-minded company on Friday evening (5th May) at 7.00pm

1986 - Can we do it again?

1984 will always have a place in literary history

1986 will always have a place in Celtic folklore


Mental Advisory Content - Hun Perma Rage caller phones David Murray

Some very bad words here but absolutely hilarious. This is genuine footage from a poster on youtube edited and mixed with a David Murray interview. When I first saw the first film below I thought the other guy must have been a Celtic fan on the wind up, but no the footage is lifted from a cream bun's drunken tirade post-Kaunus. I've posted the original rant below as well as it is funny in its own right.

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Famine Song Court Case

The verdict will be interesting.

Nottingham Forest v Celtic 1983

This is a bit random, but there are loads of great archive clips like this at Celtic Underground

Forest from Eddie Pearson on Vimeo.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Pub after Hearts game

Denis, John & Diggy are going to the Press Bar after the last game of the season. Anyone else fancy a pint?

Sunday, 10 May 2009

Rangers 1 Celtic 0

I was working yesterday morning, so caught the game in two pubs in Glasgow. I left the first one at half time since the guy beside me liked to call Rangers players "orange bastards" or "black bastards" or "orange black bastards". He wasn't the only one in that pub. Celtic's problems in this regard may be much less than Rangers', but it's still there.

I thought we played OK. In fact, it was like Celtic playing a diddy team... we dominate, they score, and hold on for grim life until the end of the game. On another day (and with two centre forwards which would not include Hesselink) we would have scored at least one goal. As Diggy posted recently, if you don't invest in the team, you get days like this.

I don't think the league is over. Wee Gordon has an amazing knack of pulling things out of the fire. I'd be surprised if both teams win all of their remaining games. The problem is that Celtic are as likely to drop points as Rangers but if we can keep the pressure on, who knows. If we do lose the league, we'll lose it to one of the poorest Rangers teams I've seen.

Game report.

Sunday, 3 May 2009

End of season

I'm not confident about the end of the season. I watched the Celtic game and most of the Rangers game. I think we have the better team. Whittaker and Dailly are weak in defence so I hope they play against us. Rangers look very jammy and this is my worry. The first goal is crucial and we always look like we could concede. I am unsure about Hartley though I don't know if we have a replacement as Robson hasn't played for a while.

I was also watching that Paddy McCourt on Celtic TV and although the opposition are reserves he is phenomenal. Could it possibly be more entertaining to watch a lower level game with McCourt than a really dull Barcelona v Chelsea? Just a thought, it would cost a lot less as well.

Post 704 - good going.

Friday, 17 April 2009


Tony Bananas' masterpiece has finally been published...

Title: Celtic Paranoia: The Laptop Loyal Diaries

Author: Tony Hamilton

Category: Sports & Adventure


Celtic Paranoia: The Laptop Loyal Diaries delivers a scathing indictment of the standard of Scottish football journalism. The author lambasts the assorted outlets who comprise the Scottish football media, better known to Celtic fans as 'The Laptop Loyal'. The author ridicules the "Old Firm bad as each other" myth which is propagated by the Scottish media agenda with an acerbic wit and humour. From 'Thugs and Thieves' to the Chris Sutton witch-hunt, the apologists for the disgraceful treatment meted out to Lennon and McGeady, through to Extension-gate in 2008, no hack or media lickspittle escapes the author's derision. His synopsis of the 2008 Extension fiasco alone is unmissable reading for any Celtic supporter. The Lickspittle Archives will also leave you incredulous at what has been passed off as credible sports journalism in Scotland. At nearly 400 pages of insightful and merciless ridiculing of "the Laptop Loyal" this is a must read for Celtic fans everywhere.

Copyright Year: © 2009

Print Details: 395 pages, 15.24 cm x 22.86 cm, 6" x 9", perfect binding, cream interior paper

Support independent publishing: buy this book on Lulu.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Friday, 10 April 2009

Interesting PowerPoint presentation

If I had a cent for every good PowerPoint presentation I've seen, I'd have two cents. This is one of them.

shitting your pants - Free Legal Forms

Wednesday, 1 April 2009


You've probably heard of Spotify, but if you haven't it's definitely worth checking out. A small download gives you access to a huge (and free) database of music to listen to. It includes most (but not all) of the songs you might want to listen to including some classics.

You can also add songs to a favourite list. I've added some songs that hold memories for me to my list.

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Sunday, 1 February 2009

Monday, 19 January 2009

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Friday, 16 January 2009

The Dragon's Den and Moonbeams

The Hokey Cokey

Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
No Cash No Bank

You put your own cash in, you take your own cash out
In out, in out, and move it all about
You do the smoke and mirrors and you tell them lies
That's why you're down and out

Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
No Cash No Bank

You put the fans cash in you take the fans cash out
in out, in out, and move it all about
You do the smoke and mirrors and you show them a plan
And the loyal buy it every time

Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
No Cash No Bank

You put the banks cash in you take the banks cash out
in out, in out, and move it all about
You fiddle the accounting and you all shake hands
And that's when the bank goes bust

Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
No Cash No Bank

You feed the press a line, you tell them everything's fine
sound bite, moonbeam, pull them into line
Keevins, Broadfoot, leckie and DJ on Clyde
They'll spout your moonbeams every time

Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
No Cash No Bank

You bring the players in, you sell the players on
in out, in out, where's the profit gone?
Boyd Bougherra Ferguson McGregor up for sale
Can you here the Rangers fans wail?

Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
No Cash No Bank

Now they've found you out, at the smoke and mirrors game
down size, down size, years and years of pain
You long for that vineyard that you bought for yersel
But ye cannae get the Rangers selt

Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
Oooooooooooh David David Murray
No Cash No Bank

They Deserve Better



Hun Song book 2009 edition

Borrow, Borrow
We need to borrow millions.
From anywhere, we don't care, we will borrow more.
Dundee, Hamilton, even from the vatican we will borrow on.
Cause there's not a bank that will give us money.
No not one, not another one at all.

Altogether now the cry was no more spending
No More spending or we'll die, die, die
With cap in hand and millions owed
We'd sell old Derry's walls

For there's not a bank like the Bank of Scotland
No not one and there never shall be one
The bank manager knows all about our troubles
We will sell sell sell till there's no one left
Oh for there's not a bank like the Bank of Scotland
No not one and there never shall be one

"The cry was no new lenders
But defenders we must buy
With heart in mouth we watch old Weir
He'll guard McGregor's goals"

"Dave Edgar And All His R S T,
Came Up To Real Radio,
With Cap in Hand,
And Sordid Deals,
We'll Guard Alexander's goals.

(All Together Now)
The Cry Was No Boydchenko,
Chris Dailly has just died (Died Died Died!),
With our youth team,
And the unsaleable ones,
We'll Guard Graeme Smith's goals

Hullo hullo we're 60 million in debt
Hullo hullo we're not insolvent yet
We're up to our knees in Murray's debt
Sell players or we'll die
For we are the poorest club in Scotland

Thursday, 15 January 2009


Murray's latest plan

Murray International Holdings

An interesting article on the finances of Murray International Holdings. Makes interesting reading. Its a lengthy article so I've pasted a sample below.

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"Real Profits?

While discussing the nuances of inventory, it is worth mentioning a curious effect of accounting rules. A company which is struggling to break even can reduce its expenses booked to a given year by creating inventory: cutting steel to length regardless of whether a customer has asked for it; building offices which no one needs… expenses which would have been booked to the profit & loss account in that year are capitalized and show up as an asset instead of an expense. (When the goods are eventually sold, the expenses are then recorded). Cash is still hemorrhaging, but the company gets to make press releases about another profitable year instead of having to explain red ink to an increasingly worried bank manager or to a bewildered media. Such ‘earnings management’ practices are common amongst struggling businesses. In most cases, there is nothing illegal about it, but bankers and financial analysts should be alert to such issues."

"What Would Happen To Rangers?

In the event of an insolvency filing by MIH, the administrator appointed will have as his principal duty recovering as much value for the creditors (i.e. the bank)as possible. British insolvency cases tend to move quickly, and those subsidiaries for which a willing buyer cannot be quickly found will be liquidated. Collapsing commodity prices are not just affecting Sir David Murray, but billionaires found themselves to be mere millionaires in a matter of a couple of months in the autumn of 2008. This is no time for executive toys. Fortunes have to be remade and energies focused in areas with a reasonable chance of making a healthy profit. That Sir David has spent so prolifigately at Rangers, yet failed to achieve proportionate success or profitability does not make this an attractive business. That Murray has become a lightning rod for many of the frustrations of a fan base who feel that he has betrayed their club’s “traditions” will not help. Indeed, taking on the figurehead role of a club once famously described as a “permanent embarrassment and an occasional disgrace” will be unlikely to whet the appetite of many of Scotland’s wealthiest people. In the event of an MIH bankruptcy, if a credible buyer does not come forward quickly- with an offer that would pick up a sizeable part of the £26m in bank debt and other debt obligations assigned to Rangers FC, then the closure of one of Scotland’s most famous institutions cannot be eliminated as a possibility.
It is unlikely to come to that. Given how little money would be raised in a liquidation (Rangers’ stadium being worth almost nothing to anyone except Rangers), the bank might accept a very low figure for the club. Glasgow City Council might help a prospective consortium of buyers by purchasing the stadium and leasing back the ground to the club- thereby releasing funds to operate the club at least in the medium term.

Whatever happens, it is a cautionary tale for football fans everywhere. When the media, sports and business alike, fail to fulfill their watchdog role, then problems are left to turn into a cancer. There are many questions that must be asked about how Sir David Murray’s hubris and gambling instincts have been allowed to place so many vested interests, not merely in football, in major jeopardy."