Friday, 21 August 2009

Yet Another Crazy 9/11 Conspiracy Theory

By James Forrest @ CQN

"Ladies and Gentlemen ..... Welcome to Nightlife USA. The subject of tonight's show: The 9/11 Conspiracy Theory which discredits the official version of events. Jane ... why don't you tell us about this."

"Thank you Tom, yes ..... tonight, a bizarre new theory on the 9/11 attacks has emerged, and it goes like this; the people behind 9/11 were a terrorist organisation named Al Queada. Their leader is a Saudi national, named Osama Bin Laden, who is living in primitive Afghanistan."

"Jane .... you're kidding, right? 9/11 was a perfect operation, conducted with a high degree of sophistication and skill, which must have cost tens of millions of dollars, would have taken months of planning and which, then, would have had to outfox the entire US intelligence community and the US military, in particular, and this is where the theory gets a little nuts, the entire US air defence system."

"Tom, you're absolutely right. Of course. But, the conspiracy theorists have thought this one through, or so it seems, and what they are claiming isn't so much good planning and a perfect operation, but a series of lucky breaks. In other words, this conspiracy theory depends upon the equivalent of throwing darts at a board wearing a blindfold and hitting the bullseye every time!"

"So, what are these nutcases claiming, Jane?"

"Well, Tom, first they're saying that the US government had intelligence to hand warning of these attacks, but nobody paid attention to them. They claim government officials refused to take these reports seriously, that the President himself ignored them as irrelevant, and that no-one in his senior staff tried to warn him this might not be a good idea ....."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, Tom, and this theory gets better. They claim that on the day of the attacks, the whole of US air defence command was tied up in a series of exercises which left the whole of the Eastern seaboard completely UNDEFENDED!"

"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard! Even if that were true .... how did the terrorists know that?"

"Well ..... I asked that question myself today, and the answer, bizarre as it might seem, was that they just Got Lucky on that particular day."

"So what about the people who were recently convicted for their part in the securities fraud which blew the whole case wide open just a few weeks ago? Those people who were selling airline stock short prior to the attacks?"

"Well, according to the theory, those are innocent men and women, who just ....... Got Lucky too."

"And I suppose the fact those were the first buildings in history to collapse because of fire was ......"

"Just Bad Luck, Tom. As was the complete disintegration of an aircraft on crashing, United 93, which was also a first time event. Bad Luck, Tom. A series of freak events, all happening at the same time, on the same day."

"And these terrorists ..... tell me about them."

"Well, there's no much to tell, except that some of them were allegedly educated on American flight schools ....."

"So we even taught them how to fly, eah? Wouldn't the enlisting of these men, from Arab countries, in US flight schools, have raised a red flag somewhere?"

"Tom, according to the theory, that's just what it did. But, like every other piece of intelligence relating to these events beforehand, it was ignored ........"

"Just our bad luck, I guess, Jane ......."

"Just our bad luck, Tom."

"Thanks Jane. You couldn't make it up, could you ......?"

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